Miki's Pathway

Miki's pathway is leading her to be a more appropriately behaved wife to her hubby of 8 years through the use of LCDD...and yes, it was at her request. Certain content along the path isn't suitable for younger viewers - so if you haven't celebrated your 18th b-day...come back when you get there and I'll welcome you with open arms.

Friday, July 29, 2005

Strolling Along

So sorry to have not been faithfully posting, but things here have become extremely busy. Even this post will be short and to the point. I am still, no matter what I’ve said and done, doing everything I can to keep control in my marriage. I realized this the other night. Kev did decide to reinstitute maintenance once a week on Wednesday evening. So Wednesday comes, we get home from work, and he tells me it’s time…I stall, telling him my tummy is upset…which it was but not as bad as all that…so he agrees to wait a bit. Finally he is ready to wait no more, and I decide we have to talk first…another stall tactic…we discuss everything I think he is doing wrong regarding my discipline – well ok not everything (for instance letting me stall was CERTAINLY not discussed)…and I tell him how to do it right…he should have tanned my hide for days over this one!! So then the moment I’ve been dreading and stalling finally comes…but when he brings out his new cane I tell him I can’t handle that and that he can’t use it…so he puts it away and opts for the bath brush instead (tell me again who is supposed to be in control?????)

So anyway he finally starts, but he’s doing this Q&A thing…and I can’t answer questions while I’m getting a spanking, so I snap at him to please not make this a Q&A session…and he complies. Then we come to an area where the problem is part mine and part his…and neither of us is sure how to fix it. He doesn’t give enough warm up time…so the spanking gets too hard too fast and then I can’t take it. He having to end things much too soon, and because of this, I have no residual effects…actually, the only impact discipline happening this way is having is that it’s making me angrier at him than I already was.

You have to understand…I want this to work. I keep saying I can’t give up control until he takes it, but I’m slowly realizing the opposite may be true as well. So I’m going to try harder to give it up…and hope that he takes it. If anyone has suggestions for hubby regarding the too fast, too hard issues, please let me know.

Blessings to all,

Miki

11 Comments:

  • At 5:52 PM, Anonymous D said…

    My dh had a difficult time with the whole warm up, to hard, to fast thing to. What we have done in fact just within the last few weeks is, he picked a light impliment or his hand, something that you know doesn't take to much to control the intensity, and that is used for the warm up, his gage is, as long as I can remain almost still its a warm up, lasts about 5 minutes or til I'm a pink shade of color.
    Than he moves to the impliment intended to punish, usually something wood (cane excluded)with that he starts out slow and light landing one swat on each side in a pattern sorta, one swat every 5 sec I'd guess, with every two swats he lands a hard one, than two than a hard one, alternating sides as he goes.
    Towards the end of the punishment he will start spanking one side only, with a rapid fire of spanks about 6 I'd guess again, than do the same to the other side. This is done til he feels I'm repentant.
    Now, if I'm being stubborn and he will ask me questions to determine this, he may give me a rest period between and start again. It really does help to have a warm up and to build intensity, like you I simply cannot handle the fast rapid spanks without it.

    Keep talking, you'll figure it out *smiles*

    D

     
  • At 11:17 PM, Blogger SugarKane said…

    Sometimes I get down waiting for my husband to take the lead. I want so badly to have a strong man who wont give in or give me grace. I want him to be confident and in charge. I share your pain. Just keep praying and giving him the control. Dont be tempted to take it back. It is "bait".
    It is easy to give up but you have a taste of what could be, dont quit.

     
  • At 12:49 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I am very sympathetic with your husband, as well as your feelings and dilemma. My wife and I are at a similar point (maybe slightly advanced). I had been too easily giving in to her suggestions (manipulation) and have been making a conscious effort to recognize it and crack down on it. I have a simple ping-pong paddle that she absolutely hates - this makes it the perfect tool and I use it to full effect. I have also made sure that I am the one who decides when the spanking is over - this can be difficult when she is crying "I can't take it anymore" and "I've have enough - please!!", but, like you pointed out, the effect fades quickly and it is very important to go past that point of resistance to achieve the lasting effect.
    I don't know if you share these posts with Kevin, but it is important for him to know that you are feeling short-changed and that it is OK for him to step it up. My wife started writing down her feelings in a journal - we kept increasing the length and severity until we found out what is required for an effective discipline spanking.
    Keep working at it!

     
  • At 1:28 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    One of the groups that I belong to has had a thread going about how severe a spanking should be and how the husband is supposed to know when his wife has had enough. It seems the common denominator in the beginning is communication. (I am one of the new people too). I keep a journal and think I will try writing down for my husband how I feel after he spanks me. By the way, I just found your site and read your bio. How do you do this with kids? We have one teenager and are scared to death he will discover me getting a spanking! Don't give up. I know it feels like you should sometimes, I feel that way too, but I know that once we get through the learning stages this lifestyle will be a good thing for our marriage (already is, in spite of some beginners blunders).

     
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    whoa, this is sick. you people need counseling.

     
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